


Lio's really really dry salad

by favorite



Category: Promare (2019)
Genre: M/M, Planet Destruction, Self-Destruction, Survival Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23024074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favorite/pseuds/favorite
Summary: Lio Fotia can't stand it, it's driving him up a wallllllll.. ..
Relationships: Lio Fotia/Galo Thymos
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	Lio's really really dry salad

**Author's Note:**

> keep that in mind

Now, it's late in the evening, in those hours where you're usually kind of thinking about getting slightly drunk but you're not sure. And here is Lio Fotia; with his Parmesan cheese. And he's even got the special restaurant grater that you can crank gently and it turns the cheese into a powder. He's preparing to enjoy his fair share of home-bought Fetticini Alfredo when (none other than) Galo Thymos comes bursting through the door.  
They've been sharing this apartment for the better half of fourty five minutes.

Galo had just finished moving in at around 8pm.

Officially.

Now, Lio is a bad little son of a bitch from a life of many flavors. He's lived alone and he's lived with his polycule practically breathing down his neck but nothing could have prepared him for JUST what Galo was about to lay down on Lio's tender life.

That's right.  
A salad spinner.

Now, if you've ever been to a wedding, or a funeral, you probably know that the salad spinner is one of the most dismal, useless, absolute binding pinnacles of capitalism itself. And in this anarcho-communist household?

Lio whips around, the proximity to the salad spinner having set off his fight or flight response long before the photons reflecting off of it could even hope to meet the general direction of his eyes.

"GALO!"

"... What... is that?"

Galo is holding this instrument of torture in his hunk hands, not too soft and not too hard. Excitement is brimming on the ends of his macaw-like hair.

"It's to dry your salad! You have to have a healthy salad in order to stay strong."

The universe flashes before Lio's eyes. How, in the span of (the latter half of a full-length feature film), could he not see the signs? The red flags, blaring in his face? How would this ever possibly work, with such differences between two individuals?

Lio approaches Galo in the most homoerotic way that his joints will naturally allow for and places his hands on the salad spinner that Galo is holding. His intention is to destroy it, yet, once he caresses it gently, it seems to speak directly into his soul.

No.... No.... NO!

He will NOT be tempted by this evil effigy!

Lio violently throws the salad spinner to the ground, knocking it from Galo's precious fingers. Galo's hair stands up in alarm.

"Lio..." Galo says, in the most ginger, empty of voices. His breath is shallow.

Time stands still.

"Galo..." Lio responds, not meeting the other man's eyes. His intense, endless sea of bangs protects him from vision. "I'm sorry... I just cannot stand to..."

"I cannot bear to..."

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Galos holds this for way too long and puts a finger on Lio's lip.

"I get it, Lio. You really..."

They gaze intensely into each other's eyes.

"You really..."

The universe expands.

"... You just... really..."

Lio is starting to lose focus.

"You really just like wet salad. It's okay. I understand."

They kiss with the fury of a thousand suns and do that really creepy thing again where they split down the middle and merge into one person but it happens so fast you can't really tell and neither can Galo but Lio actually can tell sometimes and he's written about it in his diary before and hopes it stops soon.

The salad spinner lays dead on the ground, a pinnacle to the evisceration of marriage by the queer agenda and the death of capitalism. Lio's eyes are full of stars.

"Maybe..."

"Just maybe, you might be right about that."

\--

Every now and again, still, some times Galo will bring home a salad spinner, just to watch affectionately as Lio releases the full capacity of his overwhelming wrath on the piece of useless plastic.

They always have the best sex after this has happened, after all.


End file.
